Photo: BuyUglySweaters.com

To you, this might merely be Cyber Monday. To my former colleague — wherever she may be celebrating — today is something more special. See, the first workday after Thanksgiving is always the  FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS SWEATERS.

Allow me to explain.

This woman is the Heidi Klum of the holiday-themed fashion world — Dressing festively is her signature "thing." Sure, she may only wear knickers with pointy-toed shoes as a sop to Columbus Day. But nothing compares to the effort she puts forth to honor Christmas appropriately.


It was well-known among her department mates that she claimed vacation time for the week of Thanksgiving. Every year, for the twenty-ish she worked there, someone would hold down the fort at the office, while she honored her annual tradition: It was her time to deck the halls at home and organize her holiday wardrobe.

I always thought it somewhat of a Christmas miracle that she could accomplish so much in that short week — coordinating matching musical and/or flashing earring / sweater / sock ensembles was such a big job. But she pushed herself because she was passionate. It was a great source of pride for her to have a different Christmas outfit to wear every day between THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS SWEATERS and the Big Finale on December 25th.

Images from BuyUglySweaters.com Hilarious write-ups for each item in stock. Check 'em out for all your ironic holiday wear needs!

You might be tempted, like I once was, to think this Supermodel of Holiday Sweaters is too jolly to be touched by any other human emotion. But I ran into her in the ladies' room the day before her well-publicized Thanksgiving vacation, and found out that's simply not true.

She was wearing a regular workday outfit, which was a surprise so close to a holiday. I expected wishbone earrings and and a pilgrim hat, or something. Instead she wore her purple suit.

I'd seen this little number before, though admittedly, not often enough. It was a grape-colored sateen pantsuit she wore with a ruffled shirt. She looked like a member of Prince's Revolution, if only she knew who "His Royal Badness" was. This flashy dresser was otherwise an ultra-conservative late-40ish woman who subjected her cube neighbors to Jesus music of the banjo-pickin' variety.

I complimented her on her pantsuit, as I know you would too. Then I asked her what the deal was. Where was her Turkey Day salute?

In a rare intimate disclosure, she told me that she just didn't feel up to it that morning. Work was bringing her down. She was still mad at herself because she completely forgot to wear red, white and blue on Veteran's Day. She was genuinely sad about it. Like work was the Grinch that stole patriotism.

I told her not to worry about it — that no one had noticed. I pretended we were still talking about clothing, because I didn't want to engage in a discussion about how out-of-control things were beginning to feel at work. I knew the economy was shaking, which had everyone rattled. But it was just a temporary situation to endure.

Temporary turned out to mean almost a year between that conversation and the time the pink slips were handed out. I don't know what she wore on the day she cleaned out her desk. But it makes me smile to think of her today, because it's a reminder that some things can be counted on as constant. No matter where she is or what things have changed, I bet you she's dressed festively on the FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS SWEATERS.