Photo Credit Chidorian on Flickr

Today marks the 17th May 9th in a row that I've wished happy birthday to someone I didn't like. I was introduced to her on lease signing day. Through a series of serendipitous events, I was driving three strangers to the apartment we would soon call home: Two really great girls I'd met a few times before.... and this bitchy chick named Ronni.

Oh, I had her number within two seconds of meeting. And so she says, she had mine: I looked like the type who listened to Night Ranger or something. We were both mentally preparing for a long year.

Flash forward a lifetime, and I'm here to say how first impressions can be wrong. From that milestone of signing a first apartment lease to family and career accomplishments now, we have been a constant in each others lives at every station in the journey since that day we didn't like eachother.


So I ask you, dear reader, to indulge me in helping me wish her another milestone today: Happy Still Not 40. Wherever you are reading this — your home office in robe and slippers, or on the bus via cellphone — please read the following passage aloud:

"Veronica K. Sawyer, you look better than you did 20 years ago. You've got a hunka-burnin' husband, the most adorable children, and no visible roots. Happy birthday to you today — you turned out to be one fabulous bitch."