Vitamin OB: A Cure for Numbness and Itchy Feet
I woke up at an insanely early hour this morning, but I'm not dragging my knuckles at all. In fact, I feel a little like I've had a shot of Vitamin OB. Vitamin OB is one of those homeopathic remedies. Among other things, It prevents the disease known as BANE, or Beige-Apartment-Nowhere-Entertaining, a terrible affliction that plagues sufferers with numbness and itchy feet. More critically, It plays a role in oxidizing stress in tissues and gives one the sense that everything is "Allgood."
OB stands for Ocean Beach, and it's the community I called home in California. Like most neighborhoods along the Pacific, OB has some spandex-wearing, arugula-eating, latte-drinking, hybrid car-having stereotypical Californians. But mostly its known as a laid back surf spot and little pocket of counter culture. A back pocket in the pants of an otherwise image-conscious city, OB attracts the crowd you might call "free radicals."
I was walking up to the beach one day and passed one of these dudes — An older man wearing a toga he'd fashioned out of a bed sheet that was held in place by a belt made of rope.
"Excuse me," he said as I passed. "Do you know what time it is?"
"Um, well, I think it's around 4:30." I answered.
"Doesn't matter anyway," he said. "It was just an experiment." Then he looked at me with wide eyes to stress the gravity of his findings in a bit of research he'd been conducting. "Did you know that four out of five people you pass on the streets of OB have no idea what time it is?"
I did not know this. I raised my eyebrows and nodded my head slowly to let him know I was friendly and non-combative. Plus, this struck a chord of familiarity. Yes, yes. I believed it.
"Isn't it wonderful?" he asked me. "Isn't it wonderful?!" he repeated to the world at large.
He continued on his mission to confirm his theory, and I made my way to the beach. Sitting there watching all the people relaxed and playing, I tried to pick out the twenty-five percent managing to some kind of schedule. I couldn't guess. It made me smile. There is an important place for structure and responsibility in life, but at that moment I was acutely aware of the weird wisdom in that wingnut's words. It was wonderful!
It occurred to me this morning that I've been suffering from BANE for months while churning out cover letters and counting days since I last worked. But for some reason today, I just feel like I got a shot of vitamin OB. Did you know that one out of one author on TheWordWire.com has no idea what time it is right now? It's wonderful.
Posted by TheWordWire at 4/30/2009 9:40 AM 
Categories: Slice of Life
Tags: California stereotypes Ocean Beach San Diego
Categories: Slice of Life
Tags: California stereotypes Ocean Beach San Diego
Swine flu be damned. I feel like hopping on a plane, stopping in sin city to pick up my favorite blogger and headed to a rooftop in OB to eat fish tacos and drink cervezas. I'm already there in my mind. Thanks for the shot of OB. I needed it.
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Man oh man, I know just the spot! I'm there in my mind with you.
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Don't bogart that vitamin ob, man.
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Oh, I'm not hoarding -- or taking -- anything. Just happy. You should try it.
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